The "E=MC^2" Diet

By: Grendel

Einstein had his theory of general relativity - I, too, feel like I have finally made a real contribution to the world (of dieting…and weightlifting…and being vain). How can I unify all the diet theories - the low carbohydrate, the low fat, the high protein, the vegetarian, the bodybuilder and the anorexic girl? This puzzle haunted me, it drove me mad. Then, lying on my bed in a fit of frustration, I had a moment of perfect clarity and insight (ok...ok, I was in the grocery store shopping for energy drinks...)