|
Issue
#4 December is a time for family, togetherness, and thinking about what's really important in life. You know, the important things, like having a 22-inch arm or quads so big you have to put Vaseline in between your thighs to keep them from rubbing together. Now, with Thanksgiving having just recently passed and the Christmas holidays just ahead, we have at our disposal a cornucopia of food just waiting to deliver its anabolic goodness to our hungry muscles. Merry Christmas!!! So, dear reader, what should we talk about this month? Well, in preparation for the new-year, how about a discussion of all things Extreme? That is the point of this magazine, to discuss the various techniques and strategies at our disposal to take our bodies to an extreme level of development. So why do I keep getting emails from 19 year old kids with 3 months of training under their belt that our already oiling up in preparation for a callout with Coleman? I get over 100 emails a day. Even though it's incredibly time consuming, I try and answer each one because I appreciate the time it takes someone to write me a letter. It's a great high for me to talk to someone about their progress, and it gives me a lot of insight into what works and what doesn't. However, as the traffic at Anabolic Extreme increases, so do the number of mortniks that choose to send emails. Let me give you an example of a standard question:
How do I respond to this? At some level, this is really comical. I really do get quite a few emails from people this out of touch with reality. On another level, it's sad and pathetic, and I feel a responsibility to try and help people like this. So, in order to help these misguided individuals, I've composed Meuller's Five Rules of Bodybuilding Success. For those of you that don't feel you in are need of guidance, please read-on, this still may be of some benefit to you. The other day I got a letter from somebody asking me if Ronnie Coleman was so big because he had managed to get his hands on some mysterious anti-catabolic drug being made clandestinely in California. This guy even managed to spell cortisol with a "z", but I wrote him back anyway. This is my segue into rule #1. Rule #1 Consistency is the key to Success in Bodybuilding I thought it particularly appropriate that I had received this question when I did, since I had just been out to see Ronnie Coleman in Sacramento. Ronnie looked fantastic as usual, having just returned from his victories in some major pro shows in Europe. Although he was busy all day long, talking to fans, singing pictures, and posing for photos, I noticed he ate the whole time. Pro bodybuilders do not have access to secret drugs. They are not privy to special advances in anabolic pharmacology that won't reach the rest of us for years to come. What they have are amazing genetics coupled with an intense desire to achieve their goals. I've never met a pro bodybuilder yet who wasn't religious about his training and eating. Consistency over years and years builds extreme muscular size, not secret drugs. Most people do not have the genetic propensity to compete as a professional bodybuilder. Of those that do, only a fraction are willing to do what it takes to reach that level. Anyone can swallow a pill, anyone can jab a needle in their ass. Only a select few are driven enough to eat and train over long periods of time as is necessary to reach anabolic extreme. Here's an example of another letter I routinely get from readers:
Rule #2 Knowledge is the key to Success in Bodybuilding When I get a question like this, I try and figure out how someone can be computer savvy enough to send an email, but not to do a simple query on any search engine. People, I'm 28. As a child growing up, I sometimes had to actually research some things for myself. I can remember asking my Mom to take me to the library on more than one occasion because I had to know something. I guess because we live in an era now where we all need instant gratification, no one wants to take the time anymore to learn anything. If you are considering taking up bodybuilding, there are literally thousands of informational resources at your disposal. With the power of the Internet, a neophyte can be spouting training routines and diets in no time at all. So why do I get emails like this? At some point, you've got to take things in your own hands and figure out some things for yourself. I consider myself a fairly knowledgeable guy, but I don't want a bunch of people who blindly follow me like lemmings into the sea. If you consider yourself a bodybuilder but can't have a moderately intelligent conversation on nutrition, training, supplementation, or sports pharmacology, it's time to start learning. You're going to love this one:
Rule #3 Dedication is the key to Success in Bodybuilding Ok bud, no problem, got the program right here for ya! You're not going to believe this but all you need to do on this program is drink a case (that's right, a case) of beer every night before going to bed. You couple this with an incredibly high fat diet. You see, testosterone is synthesized from cholesterol. Ask any biochem teacher on campus, he'll confirm this. Now, by eating all this fat, your cholesterol levels are going to be really high. This is bad, right? Well, not in this situation. You see, since you're drinking all of this beer, your liver isn't metabolizing the cholesterol as it normally would. It's too busy dealing with all of the alcohol you're drinking. So, what happens with all of this excess cholesterol? Well, since your liver can't break it down like it normally would, the cholesterol goes through an enzymatic process called testoseronification and turns into what? You got it smart guy, testosterone!! After a week of this, your test levels should be so high that a couple of quick workouts on the weekend will get you all of the ass you could possibly handle. Good luck!!! By the way, although I wanted to write that response to this bozo, I did the mature thing and gave him some good advice. Before you begin any program, before you set any goal, you have to ask yourself, how important is this to me? Obviously the guy in the example above is never going to have a great physique. He isn't willing to do what it takes to improve his body to any appreciable degree. Oh, he may go to the gym a couple of times a week with his buddies and drink a Met-RX or two every day. But in reality, this guy is never going to develop himself to a level he finds satisfactory because he isn't dedicated enough to devote himself to his goal. Not everyone can be a champion bodybuilder. I know that most of the people reading this will never aspire to that level of competition. I train a 60-year-old physician in Germany with a pretty damn good physique. So what, you're saying. Well, this guy is so dedicated and so driven to achieve his goals that I love talking to him. Every time we talk he's excited because the workout I had him do made him sore, or the diet I have him on seems to be working. I tell ya, talking to this guy pumps me up more than if I were training the almighty Dorian himself. His dedication motivates me, and it ensures that he is going to be successful. Different goals require different degrees of dedication. If you want to be a professional athlete, you have to be prepared to devote your life to your sport. If your goals are less lofty, obviously you won't have to adhere to the same extreme level of commitment. Be realistic in setting your goals. Don't set them too high if you know deep down inside you're not willing to do what's required to achieve them. As bodybuilders, we all have different goals. None is more or less noble than another. But don't fool yourself into thinking that achieving any bodybuilding goal, however minimal, won't require a significant degree of dedication on your part. Here's a winner:
Rule #4 Building a Natural Foundation is the key to Success in Bodybuilding First of all people, I am not a doctor. I'm not a chemist, biochemist, anatomist, physiologist, or any other "ist" you can think of. Well, I am a nutritionist, but that's my only educational claim to fame. It's great that this guy has finally decided to start exercising and take better care of himself. It's great that he's taken the time do to his own research and learn as much as he can about every aspect of improving his physique. When I wrote him back, I commended him for taking the initiative to finally exercise and enable himself. At the same time, I asked him to refrain from using any kind of anabolic therapy until he had reached his maximum level of development naturally. The callous attitudes I see towards steroid use simply amazes me. No, this isn't going to degrade into a tirade about the evils of using steroids. Anabolic steroids can be used to produce tremendous results at very little risk to the health of the athlete. At the same time, taking that step from being a natural bodybuilder to using gear is a BIG step. It's not one to be taken likely. As many times as I've said this in Anabolic Extreme, I'll say it again. Steroids should be used only to break past ones natural barrier, not accelerate the time in which it is reached. You cannot build a fortress on a bed of sand. I know it sucks to train naturally. God, do I know. I know what it's like to look at swollen guys in the gym every day and think, if only? At the same time, I've never seen a bodybuilder who started juicing from day one ever amount to anything. He gets burned out because he has never known what it's like to have to train clean. Two things will happen with this guy. One, he'll end up quitting and never go back to a gym in his life. Two, he'll never go off steroids, but he'll never get that big either. He wasted his window of opportunity. If you decide to train naturally, I take my hat off to you. The top natural bodybuilders will never get the same kind of recognition as the top juiced bodybuilders even though they have to work every bit as hard, probably harder to reach the pinnacle of their sport. Realistically, most people who call themselves bodybuilders will try a cycle or two at some point in their life. I guess that's ok. But don't let steroids be your crutch. There is no substitute for hard work, and if you can achieve your goals without steroids, why use them at all? Obviously the guy who wrote me this email has no competitive ambitions, he doesn't want to take his body to a level that can't be done naturally. So, why start? If you know your goal will eventually require you to use steroids, then you should get all of your ducks in a row before you ever swallow that pill or jab that needle in your ass. STEROIDS ARE NOT MAGIC MUSCLE PILLS!! If it's your intention to swallow some methandrostenolone, inject yourself with testosterone and lay back in the Lazy-Boy while the growth kicks in, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!! Steroids work best in an individual who has reached his maximum level of natural development, is willing and able to consume copious amounts of food, and has the tenacity to kick ass in the gym 4 times a week. Last one:
Rule #5 Love of the Sport is the key to Success in Bodybuilding I bet you couldn't figure out what my problem was with that last letter right? I don't have one!! I think it's great when I get a letter from a guy like this, I know this guy is going to go far. Maybe not as far as he would like, but as far as his genetics will allow him to go. If you want to be a true bodybuilder, you'd better have a real love for the sport. After all of my disappointments, after all of the shitty things that have happened to me because of being a bodybuilder and being involved in the sport, I still love it as much today as I did the first time I picked up a dumbbell at 16. Let's face it people, going to the gym and lifting heavy objects in and of itself is not fun. Not eating certain things and being forced to eat others is not exactly my idea of paradise. And if you choose to use steroids, taking shots isn't something to look forward to. However, I love the feeling of power, the ability to command attention, and get great satisfaction from attaining my physique goals. Hey, those are some of the things that get me jazzed in life. Maybe they don't make you that happy. If so, I hope you're not planning on making any good gains anytime soon. In closing, I'd like to thank all of the readers who drive to the gym year round to pound the heavy iron. I appreciate your questions, comments, suggestions, and criticisms. As the New Millennium approaches, we've all got some choices to make. If yours are bodybuilding related, you'd better read Meuller's Five Rules of Bodybuilding Success and see if you past the test. Meuller out! Copyright 1999 Jason Meuller and Anabolic Extreme. This material may not be copied, reproduced, or transmitted without the express written permission of the copyright owners. |