PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND MY SON

Question: I feel somewhat awkward writing this letter to you. I am the Mother to a 20-year old son who plays college football. He comes home from school during Summer break and while cleaning his room, I found a few books on anabolic steroids. Naturally, this concerned me. While checking the history on the browser of our computer, I saw that he had visited this website. I now find myself in the awkward position of writing the very people who may be convincing my son to take very dangerous drugs. What do you think I should do?

Answer: Wow. For those of you reading this, you should be aware that the above question is an edited version of a very long letter I received from a concerned Mother. I told her that I'd answer her question publicly in the Extreme Q&A, so here goes.

Let me first of all express the deepest respect I have for you in taking the time to write me. I couldn't help but think of my own Mother when I read your letter as it became obvious to me with each word that your son is the center of your universe. Taking the time to found out more about the situation, rather than simply attacking your son for considering the use of steroids, is commendable.

What can I advise you to do? That's a tough question. If I had a son, I don't know if I'd want him using steroids either, and I'm considered an authority on the subject. I certainly know there are far worse endeavors that your son could be involved in, I mean, if given a choice between him using steroids and using recreational drugs, steroids should win hands down every time. However, I'm absolutely certain you don't want him using either.

My best advice is to talk to your son. And by that I don't mean sitting him down and telling him what you know in a confrontational fashion. I mean really talk to him. Tell him you found the books, you know he visits Anabolic Extreme, and are concerned for his well-being. Personally, my biggest concern would not be the use of the steroids themselves, but the ramifications of him getting caught doing so, both legally and his college career if he's caught in a drug test. Furthermore, there is the issue of him buying and using counterfeit steroids, which contain God knows what.

I suffered through the indignities of a similar talk with my own Mother in almost the exact same circumstances when I was in college. I had come home for the weekend and had been wearing a ski jacket with a large pocket directly across the chest. In this pocket, I had about 20 used needles which I had intended to dispose of and forgotten in my youthful idiocy. Needless to say, my Mother found the needles while she too was "cleaning" my room. (As an aside, why don't mothers just refer to it for what it is, snooping J.) Anyway, she confronted me later that night, at the dinner table. Since I knew she'd never listen to my rationalizations about why I was using steroids, I had no choice but to lie to her.

You might want to peruse one of his books before you have your talk. Imagine his surprise if you actually know something about steroids other than what you saw on the news one time, or read in the newspaper a couple months ago. He certainly will be more willing to be honest with you if he realizes you've taken the time to learn a little about the subject.

I'm sure you can remember what it was like when you were 20, and I'm sure you realize that your son is probably going to do whatever he wants, despite your objections. Realize that if he does do steroids, the actual drugs are probably not going to cause him undue harm. Steroid use, especially by 20-year old college kids, is usually pretty benign. I mean, they usually can't afford to take a lot for very long periods of time, and prolonged use at extremely high doses might be your only cause for concern, healthwise anyway. However, you should be concerned with him using any illegal drug, especially one that might show up on an athletic drug test. If you'd like, you can have your son contact me directly and I'll see what I can do to dissuade him from using steroids. If not, I can at least make sure he's doing them as safely as possible. Now is not the time to stick your head in the sand and hope the problem goes away by making demands of your son, because that's just going to shut down any communication he may have had with you on the subject. I wish you the best of luck and thank you for seeking my counsel.

HOW DO I KEEP MY GIRLFRIEND FROM BECOMING A MAN?

Question: I'm a longtime AE reader and would like to thank you for producing such a great publication. I've got a bit of a quandary here and was wondering if you could help me. My girlfriend has fantastic genetics, and has an amazingly muscular body given that she's completely natural. She's considering competing in bodybuilding and has approached me with the idea of using steroids. Now, as you might imagine, she's coming to me because I use steroids myself and am a competitive bodybuilder. I must admit, I find the thought of her competing to be kinda cool, but at the same time, I don't want her to turn into a man in the process. Do you think it's possible for a woman to do well in bodybuilding without steroids? And if she does use them, what steps can be taken to prevent her from sounding like Barry White and needing to shave twice a day?

Answer: Let me tell you the progression I see almost all female bodybuilders going through that ends up with them looking like a really bad transvestite. It's usually a situation like this, where you've got a girl with great genetics, everyone is urging her to compete, and she's dating (or married) to a guy that uses steroids. Sooner or later, she decides she's going to try a cycle to see what happens, to see if she likes the results.

People immediately take notice. And at first, she looks great. Everyone is telling her how much better she looks, she can't believe it herself, and you're blown away with how much progress she's made in such a short period of time. Everywhere she goes, people make comments, not able to believe how great she looks. At this point, most women are hooked, and steroids have now become their drug of choice.

Over time, the side effects begin. Small things at first, maybe she notices her voice is a little lower, she's having to pluck a few more hairs here and there, and her clitoris is getting REALLY big during sex. Nothing she can't live with really, hey, the clitoris thing is kinda cool, she's able to come a lot easier. People are still telling her she looks good, she thinks she is looking even better, and despite the fact that you've noticed a few of the side effects, they're nothing you can't live with. Besides, she's giving you more sex than you've ever had in your life and she's pretty uninhibited in the sack. What an animal!!

Months later, things continue to get worse. Now, all the people who told her she was looking great before are afraid to tell her the truth. Yes, her body has definitely transformed, but into what? People stare at her everywhere she goes, partly because of her incredible physique, but partly because it's like a free freak show. Her voice is noticeably deeper, her skin and hair now have the texture and coarseness of a man's, and she's looking less and less feminine per day. She's torn between her feelings, on the one hand she feels repulsed by what she's become, and on the other she revels in it. She's the center of attention wherever she goes, and that's a heady feeling. And you're left wondering where the Hell everything went wrong.

Let me state that if your girlfriend wants to compete successfully in bodybuilding, she will have to take steroids. And more than likely, she'll have to resort to drugs that are going to have permanent and serious side effects in order to gain the size necessary to do well. Looking at the lineup of any top amateur or pro female show should answer your questions. Would you want your girlfriend to look anything like 90% of the she-males on stage?

My advice to you is to steer her towards fitness competitions. Women's bodybuilding is a dying sport anyway. Now remember, most top level fitness competitors are using steroids as well, but since the level of muscularity required is so much less than that of bodybuilding that they're able to get away with using steroids that are relatively harmless, things like anavar and primobolan. Let me know what she decides!

BUSTED!!

Question: I've just been bailed out of jail after being arrested for sales of anabolic steroids. I'm facing charges of felony possession with intent to distribute and felony transportation of a controlled substance. I had always assumed that even if I ever did get caught, they'd be fairly lenient on me given that I've never been arrested before and have a fairly good job. I know you've been through the legal system a few times because of steroids and was wondering if you can tell me what to expect.

I'll give you a few relevant details of my case. I'm 26 and was setup by a supposed friend of mine. I was caught busted completing a deal for approximately $10,000 worth of gear in New York. I don't know all of the evidence they have against me, but I imagine it's pretty bad now that I know who set me up. What are your thoughts?

Answer: Well, let me start out by telling you that neither I, nor anyone else who's been through the legal system because of steroids, is going to be able to tell you what to expect. Both times I was arrested it happened to be in counties that are known for their extreme enforcement of the law and prosecution of the violators of said laws (Orange County and Placer County). I was told by the police who arrested me the first time that they purposely wanted to complete the buy in Orange County, rather than nearby LA County, because they knew the penalties would be much stiffer. Given that I have absolutely no idea what you're facing in the country in which you were arrested, it's impossible to make a determination either way. As a general rule of thumb, jurisdictions with the most money and the least crime are generally the harshest on crime. So pray you've got an overworked DA's office with about 200 crack dealers ahead of you.

About the only sage advice I can give you is not to take this lightly. Spend whatever you have to spend to hire the best attorney money can buy. Since you live in New York, I'd contact Rick Collins, the only attorney in the country I know of that specializes in steroid law. He's located in NY as well, and you can reach him via his website at www.steroidlaw.com. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE REPRESENTED BY A PUBLIC DEFENDER!!

Let me tell you an unsettling, and more than likely typical, story about my experience with a public defender. My second arrest took place in February of 1999, exactly one year before I was to be released off probation. During a probation search on my home, officers found an unopened vial of T-200. Because of my prior record, I was charged with felony possession of steroids (over one 10 ml vial mind you) and my probation was eventually violated in Orange County.

Upon first meeting the public defender who was representing me in the probation violation case in Orange County, she told me what she could plead me down to in my case. 15 MONTHS IN STATE PRISON!! She told me this like I had just asked her the time, as if it was absolutely no consequence to her. You know why she acted like this? Because I was of absolutely no consequence to her. PD's are overworked, underpaid, and unless you're lucky enough to get an altruistic graduate fresh from law school, they just look at you like another case in a huge stack of never ending paperwork. Needless to say, I told my PD not to worry, I'd be getting a private attorney, and thanked her for her concern.

To make a very long and painful story short, my private attorney got the probation violation DROPPED. Had I stuck with my PD, I'd probably just be getting out of prison, and certainly wouldn't be typing this to you right now. I don't care what you have to do to come up with the cash to hire a good attorney, just do it. It will be the best money you ever spent in your life.

Steroids are one of a few drugs that are looked upon differently by different people. If you'd been arrested for coke, I think we could pretty much assume that regardless of what judge is sitting on the case, you're pretty much screwed. However, some view anabolic steroids are somewhat harmless, while others view them as the scourge of the Earth. In my first case, the sitting judge told my two co-defendants and I that she believed steroids were worse than heroin. Imagine how that made my ass pucker.

Finally, and I can't stress this enough, don't break the law!! Getting arrested while awaiting charges on another crime has serious ramifications. And I can guarantee you that you will be under a microscope at this point. A lot of people in your position feel they have no choice but to continue dealing because of the additional financial burden they've been placed under. And a lot of people in your position are now doing serious prison time. Good luck to you my friend.

 

Extreme Q&A is a weekly column that allows me to address the questions and comments submitted by you, the readers of Anabolic Extreme. Because I get literally hundreds of emails per week, I can't guarantee a personal response to each and every question. However, I do try to answer as many as possible and the best of these appear weekly in the Extreme Q&A. To send me a question or comment, please email me at Jason@anabolicextreme.com.