March 23, 2001
Issue # 39

INTERVIEW WITH A BODYBUILDER
Part III

AE: So, what’s the hardest part about being a bodybuilder? 

Mr. X: Without a doubt, it’s the eating man.  That’s the killer. People have no idea the commitment it takes to consume food day after day in the fashion that’s required to carry this much muscle. It’s a bitch, and there are times when I wonder if it’s worth it.

AE: Is it? Worth it I mean?

Mr. X: Show me a top bodybuilder and I’ll show you someone with severe emotional or mental problems.  All the guys I know at my level or above feel the same way I do to some degree or another, constantly wondering if the abusive nature of this sport is all worth it at the end of the day.  For me, being this size is how I now identify myself.  It’s how people relate to me, which can be sometimes good, and sometimes bad.  But whatever the reaction, I’m always the center of attention wherever I go.  And that constant attention, that constant gratification, is a really big reason why most guys suffer through the shit they do.

Bodybuilders are really the only athletes that wear their sport.  No matter where I go, no matter if someone has no idea what the hell bodybuilding is, someone is going to do a double take when they see me.  If I walk into a room with Russell Crowe nipping at my heels, people are going to say two things.  “Holy shit, it’s Russell Crowe!” And then they’re going to say, “And did you see the size of that huge sumbitch that walked in before him?”  It’s like instant celebrity.

Of course, being this size has more than its fair share of negatives. I am rarely taken seriously by anybody, at least on an intellectual level.  Let me put it in perspective.  If Abraham Lincoln was my size, history wouldn’t remember him for anything other than being big.  I could win the Pulitzer and people would say, “Damn, he’s big!” When you’re this size, people tend to focus only on the physical part of you, and don’t notice anything else. 

So is it worth it?  For a lot of very shallow reasons, yes.  You’re the guy that every other guy secretly wants to be.  You’re the guy that every girl secretly wants to be with, if only for one night.  Little kids, God bless ‘em, are sometimes a huge source of amusement because they immediately say whatever pops into their minds.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a kid point and say something about me, only to watch the parents become horrified as they follow juniors finger. No one ever starts out in this sport really knowing what it’s going to be like when you get to the top.  And yeah, I’m not at the top yet, but I’m pretty advanced.  Over the years, through consistency and a lot of hard work, guys like me will continue to get better and better, and then the accolades start.  What may have seemed crazy yesterday may not seem crazy three months from now because you’re constantly pushing that envelope for the next 2-3 lbs of muscle.  If someone had shown me a video of what would be required for me to look like this when I first started lifting, I would have ran out of the gym and taken up badminton.  But, because you’re introduced to things over a very long period of time and at a gradual pace, even guys like myself learn to accept it. 

AE: So, have their been times when you’ve just wanted to quit and maybe pursue that badminton career?

Mr. X: Most definitely, most definitely.  I’m not fool, I know that the extremes of bodybuilding have very serious negative health consequences.  The older I get, the more that worries me.  As a bodybuilder, you start to view your body in an entirely different way than the average person.  People who are health conscious will take care of themselves because they know that their body is part of them, and by keeping it healthy, they’ll live a longer and more satisfying life.  Not me.  I view my body as a commodity, a tool that I use to achieve my goals.  I identify “ME” as being everything from the neck up.  Everything from the neck down is an art project if you will, maybe a sculpture that I work on every day.  And I know if I work diligently enough, I’ll get what I want in the end.

AE: And what is that?  What do you want in the end?

Mr. X: Christ, what is this, 60 Minutes?  Up until now it’s been all peaches and cream, now I feel like I’m being interrogated by the fucking Spanish Inquisition.  I’ll say it before, and I’ll say it again, “I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”  Shit, sorry.  You know, that’s a good question.  Ask just about any bodybuilder in my shoes that question, you’re going to get the same answer.  Money.  Which is kinda funny because bodybuilding is probably one of the worst sports to go into if you want to make real money.  I mean, as far as professional athletics go, bodybuilding is definitely at the bottom of the pay scale.  But, I’m certain I can make a living in this sport for one reason.  I can think.  Taking a break from our interview, you know we goof on bodybuilders all the time.  How some of the top guys in the sport are the dumbest fucks we’ve ever met.  If they’re pulling down green, I should be able to clean up.  Look at Shawn Ray.  He’s parlayed his bodybuilding career into a little empire.  And Shawn isn’t doing that by winning shows, his prize money isn’t what’s buying him Diablos and huge houses.  He’s a savvy businessman, and he’s got enough upstairs to take what he makes and make it work for him.  That’s gonna be me.

AE: Let’s get back to actual bodybuilding for a moment.  So what’s your off season nutrition and training like?

Mr. X: Let’s see.  Off season nutrition goes a little like this.  I shop at one of those big warehouse places and buy meat like I’m stocking up for a nuclear war.  I then go home and throw the meat in a freezer I bought just to store meat, the normal freezer attached to my fridge doesn’t have enough space. I’m buying lean ground beef, chicken thighs, chicken breasts, ground turkey, and top sirloins.  Needless to say, my grocery bill is a killer.  Every day it’s the same routine, 6-8 meals, focusing primarily on protein.  There are days when I get 8 meals in, but that’s rare.  Eating for me is just like anything else.  There’s bad days, average days, and really good days.  There have been many times in the past when I ate whatever the hell I wanted, hell, I used to eat McDonalds right before going to the gym and end up puking Big Macs all over the place.  Now I pretty much stick to eating clean.  Well, let me rephrase that. By no means is eating 12 oz of ground beef clean, even very lean ground beef is going to have a helluva lot of fat.  I’ll usually try to get a potato or rice in with that, at which point I’m ready to pop.  But, I usually can’t even stomach the thought of fast food anymore, eating period is a sore subject for me.  I’ve found it’s easier for me to stay in shape in the off season if I stay away from the fast food and pizza, I know I’m very carb sensitive. On a normal day, I’m eating 3-4 meals and drinking 3-4 shakes.  I’ll usually hit a shake every other meal, that way I’m not eating back-to-back solid food meals.  I don’t count calories, off season it’s simply a function of how much food I can possibly cram down my gullet. This leaves me looking like a pregnant hippo for the majority of the day, but that’s what it takes for me.

AE: So, what changes come contest time?

Mr. X:  Honestly, not a whole lot.  I simply reduce the intake of food.  Hey, everybody’s different.  I know guys who eat nothing but fast food in the off season and they really have to clean it up come show time.  Me?  At first it’s like someone took the weight of the world off my shoulders.  I don’t have to force feed myself!!  Meals become a lot more regimented, I’m weighing out portions so I have a really accurate idea of how many calories I’m consuming.  But overall, it’s the same foods, just in much smaller quantities. 

Eventually I go crazy like everyone else.  Off season, I can eat whatever I want.  Which isn’t to say that I do, but the security of knowing that I can seems to satiate those cravings.  It isn’t until you know that you can’t give in to the cravings that it really starts to kick your ass.  There are times when I won’t even go to the store, I make my girlfriend go for me.  God forbid I take a left turn down the ice cream aisle, can we say clean-up on aisle 5?

AE: Are there ways in which your pre-contest prep differs from some of your competitors?

Mr. X: Yes, and you know damn well what it is.  I’m a big fan of osmotics. 

AE: Why?

Mr. X: Because unlike diuretics, they only pull water from the extra-cellular fluid.  Diuretics pull from everywhere, and it’s really easy to end up looking flat on stage.

AE: So how do you use these drugs?

Mr. X: Honestly, that’s the one thing I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about, simply because it’s way too complicated a subject for me to cover in an interview and you know it.  My fear is that someone would use them in the wrong way and get into trouble because their blood pressure got way too high.  That’s the biggest safety concern with using osmotics, and unless you really know what the hell you’re doing, you’re asking for trouble.  Maybe you should write an article on them for a future issue of your mag.

AE: Maybe.  Well friend, I appreciate the time, and wish you all the luck in the world in your upcoming shows.  I’ll see you on the flip side.

Mr. X: It’s been a pleasure.  Just keep my identity a secret or I’ll be on your doorstep with a baseball bat. 

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