March 23, 2001
Issue # 39

Cattle and the Arnold Expo Experience
by Brian Nassar

Photos provided by Anthony Hobson. CLICK HERE to view the pictures

How times have changed! I went to my first Arnold Classic back in 89’ when all of the “expo” was in the lobby.  I was 17, by myself, and I was in bodybuilding heaven. What the Expo has turned into is unbelievable! If you do not like swaying with the herd of cattle in 90-degree heat, this event is definitely not for you. I ended up sick for the week after the Expo. Here are a few of the high and low points of my 2001 Arnold Expo experience.

First my wife and I went to the pre-judging, which was as about as exciting as taking a dump. The seats were nosebleeds for a small fee of only ninety dollars.  We ended up leaving early and went across town to the Expo Center. Lots of eye candy for my wife – you know - all of the guys who walk around bodybuilding shows with “air lats” and tank tops weighing about 150. These dweebs lower backs must have been fried from trying to stick their chests out all day. My wife and I had fun laughing at all of these idiots. If you’ve ever been to any bodybuilding contest you know exactly what I’m talking about.

We should have saved the ninety bucks and just went to the expo!

The expo took up 3 huge rooms at the convention center. Every nutrition and clothing company was present pushing their supplements and other merchandise. There were some really great deals on bars and MRP’s, plus the free t-shirts and samples.  Blah blah blah.

Now to some of the more entertaining items.

First and absolutely foremost…BREASTS, BREASTS, AND MORE BREASTS!! It was an incredible sea of silicone. I was in fitness girl heaven! There were fitness girls everywhere. I finally got to meet Mandy Blank…YES!! Mandy……….oh I’m sorry I must have drifted off. The cute fitness chics without implants just didn’t look right.

Anyway, the funniest thing that happened was at Lou Ferrigno’s booth. This 4 or 5-year-old little boy thought that “Big Lou’s” posters were free and started to take one. I thought Lou was going to smack this little kid! You should have seen the look on Lou’s face. “Big Lou” came across as a big jackass to me. What a prick!

A lot of the booths were passing out free t-shirts, which was cool, but you should have seen some of the freaks trying to get one! Actually when there was anything that was being offered for free, people looked like goldfish in a pond with their mouths wide open waiting to be fed. I think if a supplement company were handing out free bags of shit people would have waited in line for it!! EAS was tucked away in the corner and I don’t know what it looked like because I just could not bring myself to check it out. I may have felt compelled to put on some spandex from the 80’s and a tank top and pose for Men’s Health magazine. Another thing that was pretty funny were some of the fitness chicks that were off their thyroid and rebounding, trying to sell their pictures. I kind of felt bad for them, cellulite and all.  It was like, look at the photo, then the girl, then the photo again – oh okay, a few extra pounds.

The bench press competition was really strange. The federation that sanctioned it let the competitors wear pretty much any and all equipment they wanted. Have you ever seen when stuntmen put on those fireproof suits? That is what some of these lifters looked like they were wearing! It was pretty comical. Some of the bench shirts have gotten way out of hand. I’m a powerlifter and I was even bored!

There were many cool booths and people at the Classic as well. I got a chance to meet and talk with Patrick Arnold at his Ergopharm booth. We talked about his new 1-AD product and he let me try out their Psycho-Diol nasal spray. I used it at my powerlifting meet; pretty cool stuff. Meeting Ed Coan and Bill Kazmaier was awesome! Ed Coan is a living powerlifting legend and Bill Kazmair is a living strongman legend. These 2 guys were both fucking HUGE!! Coan must be 3 feet thick in the chest. Paul DeMayo is back. I talked with him and Trevor Smith at the Nuclear Nutrition booth. “Quadzilla” was very cool and looking close to contest shape. The infamous “Croc Man” was there in full croc attire.  Nasser was there – very nice guy – he thought I spoke his language because of my last name.  Flex Wheeler looked about 100 pounds out of shape, he did not look very happy to be there. He was wearing a big sweatshirt in a 90-degree auditorium. Hmmmmmm. I felt bad for many of the bodybuilders and fitness chicks that could not sell their pictures very well. I almost felt obligated to buy one so they would not shoot themselves. That used to be Kim Chizevsky’s problem when she was a bodybuilder. But now she was swarmed with fans! She still had tissue paper thin skin (courtesy of her chemist husband) and actually looked feminine! Can you believe it?! The first pro I ever met was Vince Taylor at the Arnold Classic back in 89’ when he first turned pro. He was just walking by the balcony stairs and I went up and talked to him for about half an hour. He was hanging out at the Pinnacle booth behind the scenes so I tapped him on the shoulder and that guy has not aged a bit! We talked for a little bit and he still seems to be a very genuine guy. Last but not least I hooked up with Dan Severn (former UFC champion) and Becky Levi who I will be working security for at their fight events called the Danger Zone - very nice people. I am really looking forward to that!

In conclusion, it was a very entertaining weekend for us. Lots of people watching, spent a lot of cash but were able to stock up on some great deals.  It’s worth going back next year.  And my wife was in her glory because she got to meet and have her photo taken with Shawn Ray and Frank Sepe ……Me?  Mandy……..Mandy …Mandy……….

You can check out more photos here: http://www.briannassar.com

  BACK TO CURRENT ISSUE